Pieces of Me

2006-10-29T03:07:00.000-08:00

This past week had been nothing short of a shocker.
God sure has a sense of humour...
and a heart for His kids...

"Thanks Dad for showing up and coming through for so many of Your kids this week...=)"

This week, God just used Ps Paul Wolfenden to speak to us at Church of Praise so beautifully, intimately and Fatherly.
He spoke words of life, encouragement and lifted us up....
I was especially touched to see Sophia go down to the altar today!! I was like "YES YES YES!! Finally God! You came through for this girl today!! I couldn't contain my tears when i laid hands on her and prayed silently...At that point, I really got reminded again of why ministry exists...in a bigger and more global sense, why the Church exists...on a more personal level, why you and i do what we do (referring to bros and sistas in ministry). As someone wise once said, "Missions exists because worship doesnt" I can't agree more. But by missions, it goes down to ministry too...
Ministry to the local church, to our world, the people around us. Ministry is our mission and vice versa. Sophia, and countless others got touched today because of the work of the Holy Spirit no doubt, but its coupled with a few factors.
1) Pastor Paul (Or whoEVER the preacher is) and his willingness to preach it! =)
2) Holy Spirit speaking and touching hearts
3) The individual's willingness and openness to reach out and take a step towards "returning home".

So in other words, besides the fact that God worked, its our heart and our willingness to surrender our will and do things that He wants us to and expect change. Everything in His time...
*Hah dunno WHY But recently been thinking quite a fair bit and the preacher side of me has been popping out rather regularly. Just ask my sister hah! =)

okays movin on.... Really still in shock of what God had told me through Ps Paul and various others....He literally gave me a list of to-dos and actually, these things are not new cuz ive been reminded constantly by friends and family to do it for years but ive never realised that it's what God wants for me too?? How silly! these things, though simple, requires great discipline, great courage and urm...great faith and a fat wallet...but its necessary to do it cuz God did warn or rather tell me that if I dont do these, then i wont be able to move on and take the next step....I wont state what those things are they are really
outta my comfort zone but Ps Paul said something real sweet and something that made me wonder alil'...
"Just pray for Gods will for your life to be done and just do what God has said. Dont worry about it. This is not you yet, God is still trying to make you into the person He made you to be."

I wanted to melt... =p

So yeah, on a new journey to wholeness and purpose-driven life. The next few months requires strong will, perseverance, discipline both spiritually and physically. But Im excited bout the next step....Lord You sure know how to trigger me, and yes this is radical enough. =)

Wishin', and hopin', and prayin'...and dreamin!!! =)

2006-10-29T03:06:00.001-08:00

2006-10-29T03:06:00.000-08:00

Radical Rach?

2006-10-29T02:14:00.001-08:00

Radical Rach?

2006-10-29T02:14:00.000-08:00

In The Waiting

2006-10-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

Waiting is hard....I could almost hear PJ's voice in my head..."Patience is a virtue..." (WIth that fade out, echoey effect too! Freaky!) Arghs...SO maannnnnyyyy things i want now!!! I LONg to just give up everything here and GO OUT to EUrope...Bulgaria to find GabY! Visit her church and her sweet mom whom i just spoke to (She spoke Bulgarian and though I didnt understand a single word, she had a really sweet, gentle voice. I think Gaby gotit from her) I MISS her sooo Much!!! I wanna tour Europe...Live there for a few years perhaps!! Do something there!!! Bring love there. I wanna know how my German friend is doing-Her name is Friederike. She was my ex customer at Spinellis and I used to be really scared of her cuz she always has that really stern look. But slowly, day by day, I spoke to her and she opened up to me...Atfirst with a smile, then a few conversations...I was quite sad when she told me she was going back to Germany. So, I gave her a Christian book before she left, slipped a note in and prayed that she'll find Jesus one day. And then I lost her email address!! What a pity!!! But I think yeah, I will continue to pray for her.

Just finished reading a few blogs-Gabriella (another one-if you scroll down, you'll see a pic of her and me, shes the gal with the Hungarian flag hanging on her shoulders!) blogged about the spiritual state of Europe...I went to Hillsongs and wow, im so in awe of their vision missions! They actually are planting more than one church outside of Australia! And to think i've always though that they are only building a church in Uganda. Nope, thats not all there is to it. Let me share some of which I canremember with you. They are doing much in Japan, Paris, Sweden, Uganda, Kiev...and a few more...AWESOME!!! I found my heart thumping real hard when i read that. Realised my mind was wandering outside of my world. I wonder...God, is there a place for me outside of here-in SIngapore. It's not that I don't love Singapore, nor is it cuz I think there's nothing to be done here...(Lots infact!) But my heart is just longing for more. I feel like a lil' child in a house during Christmas with family and a warm fire, looking outta my frosted glass window at the broken world outside. I wanna go out. It doesnt mean that my family's perfect, it doesn't mean that I don't love them...It's just that I wanna go out. But i know I need to be MUCH closer to my Dad now first. I CANNot and WIll not run ahead of His plans.
On another note, I'mstill waiting for a couple of emails...Been waiting for so long. Was talking to Esther that day on Skype and she was like " Thanks for being so patient" Hah after she said that, i felt my patient cells disappearing instantly. Hahah!! I dunno...I guess the realisation of it resulted in devastating consequences. =) Well...WHY is it so hard to wait???? Lord, teach my heart to wait on You instead of people. I don't wanna succeed in what doesnt matter in life. That indeed is scary. Hide me in You. Now now...."Patience is a virtue...."

Techno Moron =(

2006-10-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, today i confess my weakness to my world that i'm a.....urm...how do i put it...OKok fine!!! Im a techno Moron!!! and a klutz ...Arghs...All my electronics have failed me recently...Over the span of 2 months, I've destroyed the following items:

1) mY PREcious video camera
2) my office PC's USB port (don't even ask me how...)
3) 2 of my earphones-both brand new

and the latest item to join the club-My home PC which mysteriously wouldn't switch on last night... =(

oh gREAt...my ipod just froze..its been like this for 2 weeks... =( sighs...all these are causing my life a pinch of misery and burning a big hole in my pocket!!!
SOS God!!!

BUT God's been faithful (as always) He never fails to provide me manna and quail from heaven, cleverly disguised as long strands of bee hoon (Chinese vermicelli) and
meat lover's set from Cafe Cartel...Dun get me? Okay let me explain... =)

Ive been low on cash this month-BUT God, being God, challenged me to give to our church Missions Faith Promise nevertheless. Well and so i figured that if God had put me in this spot then surely He would provide for my needs-like...FOOD! =) and urm....stuff that i need! So this month, I'll have to say God's been super nice to me. He's sent different people to provide me with small things like meals and stuff and this morning, I left my house in a hurry cuz i had o serve today and therefore skipped breakfast. To my utter surprise, I found out that Jason and Michelle (fellow praise worshippers) bought breakfast for the entire worship team (Nice one Pops!) Thats not all..=) After both services had ended, Siew Mee held a meeting for the sound team at Cafe Cartel and invited Clydia and I along. She treated us all to a good meal (thanks!) and yeah all i can say now is God REAlly is Jehovah Jireh! =)

However, the more i think about my current state of finance, the more depressed i get. =/ BUT that is why i'll choose to look at my RIch Dad in Heaven and not at my circumstance!!! =) This song is so relevant to me now:

" I will bless Your Name
I will bless Your Name
High above my circumstances
I will bless You Lord" =)

Well, I believe that everything to God is an investment for my future cuz Our God doesnt shortchange us and He has something up His sleeves, i know it! =) Awaiting the unveiling...=D

Pictures

2006-10-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

Reminisce

2006-10-13T10:31:00.000-07:00

Lookin' at these photos just brings back memories of YLG which ended the week before...I'm still raw from it I guess...I still miss my new found friends, some of whom i love deeply like friends of several years. I was just commenting to my friend the other day that whenever I see caucasians, i'd imagine that it's YLG part 2 and somehow my friends would just appear right in front of me hah!
I miss being in the presence of God daily with 450 people who are desperate and hungry for Him... I miss being engaged in worship on a daily basis ( i must cultivate this habit now that im back and more focused!!!) Miss connecting with people from all over the world! Miss small group! Miss miss miss miss miss everything... =( The oNLY thing, in all honesty, that i'm happy about now is the ability to purchase a decent cuppa coffee anytime i want. Another would be being back at home with friends and family... But still...sighs!! =(
However, i did notice a change that I'm thankful to God for. I worship lead in youth service and truthfully, i used to dread my turn because i felt so inadequate, utterly unworthy and I didn't feel that i was ready to lead anything. But I knew that it was what God had wanted me to do so I did it anyway-with much fear and trembling, which is not a good thing in this case. =) Anyway, I'm scheduled to lead for this saturday's service, and it being my first time leading after YLG, i felt nervous yet more confident to lead cuz of what i've experienced at YLG, the healing and the knowledge of my "identity" in Christ. So, I had my practice last night and I just wanna give God ALL the glory that He gave me the boldness to share alil' bit about YLG to my band mates and like how my perspective of worship and God had changed after that and like I just felt God's presence with me as I led them into a chorus and prayer and Yeah it was sooo good...God is sooo awesome!!! I guess I kinda know why God brought me there to YLG though Im the most undeserving to go, now i see a glimpse of His purpose. =) Thank you Abba...
Anyways, had a great meeting just now with the "PaRTY PeoplE Committee"! We went to recce a few great Sites for upcoming events and then headed down to the Airport for late dinner (POPEYE's CHICKEN!) and just being at the airport once again reminded me of the moments i had to wait with Mary for her flight. I looked at the faces that passed me by and I wondered when it'll be my turn to just board a plane and go to Europe to find my dear friends, Gaby in Bulgaria and Esther in France. I've been thinking about this for soo long!! I truly long to see them again soon cuz these are 2 special people in my heart =) You Hear that???!!! =) I dunno if they'll read this haha...But what the heck...I sooo wanna just get on a plane and fly away to somewhere exotic like Europe, Alaska, wherever and stay there for a couple of years!! I think i'm a vagabond! =) Think Ive asked God like a million times as to when i can travel, and just now I thought I heard Him whisper "Very soon". I sure hope that was You Lord and not my own selfish voice cuz I really do not wanna miss His moment and wander off on my own. Nopes! =) I think "Still" and "Oceans Will Part" are my theme songs for this season..."Still" cuz of that line="I will soar with You above the Storm...I will be still and know You are God" and "Know His Power, in quietness and trust" Love those lines...I NEED to be Still in the presence of God! My mind's so cluttered with unnecessary things and my heart needs to quieten down and hear His whisper..."Oceans Will Part" carries a deep sense of purpose to me. Especially that Line "In my life, Your will be done". Indeed Lord, let my life be an offering to You and in my life, Your will be done. Gotta go snooze now, early morning tomorrow...Good night friends. =)

Oops

2006-10-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

Oops! Sorry here are the photos i promised! Tried to upload but to no avail...So here they are! =) Enjoy!

Reality of life

2006-10-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

BACK FROM HEAVEN

2006-10-01T05:30:00.000-07:00

Hello u guys...SORRY for the LONG disappearance.... Decided to pick up blogging again due to peer pressure (HAHA euph, it's cuz of ya! =) ) and so im proud to say i'm back and am gonna stick around for a pretty long time....I HOPE! JUST Came back from YLG Lausanne Conference at KL and my my! It was the bEST week of my life (Goes to show how exciting my life's been eh haha..but seriously, one of the most enriching and healing moments ive had.) Made a ton of friends (Elfy Euph, SWEET gaby, Quirky Fish, Dancing Queens Gaby from Hungary and Mary, cooL Shermeen, Donut Vinh (=P) and soooo many more!) Guys, i love y'all soo much that I cannot recall how many times exactly i broke down a day b4 we left. This morning too, upon thinking back of times we've spent... All of you hold a special place in my heart... And anyways, the conference (ahem...gaTHEring...) went sooo great! Never have i expected us all to be so involved in it cuz we went as a worship team and we thought we'd be bogged down by crazy prac schedules (Which happened but surprisingly still left us with enough time to attend small groups and plenaries) but God had something else in mind i suppose...All of us (INTRODUCING the bAND-Eeleen, Denise, Dots, Simon, Haiks, Jason, Marcell from Brazil and moi!) were placed in small groups and boy, I absolutely ADORe my small group! You gals really changed my world view through each and everyone of your sharing and I feel that I understand God's heart for me and for the world so much more through that too...During the small group, we were all asked to share our life story and although all of us are all of different backgrounds and ethnic groups (3 S'poreans, 2 Americans, 1 New Zealander, 2 UgandianS? 1 Chinese and 1 Ukranian!!!) we just connected and it was a Powerful powerful experience...Kleenex made millions(!) and you wouldn't believe what we've shared (!)Awesome (!) Love all y'all!=)
Up next, we have SWEET Gabriella in da house! =) Shes my bULgarian god"mum" and i simply love you to bits! (if you're readin this, want u to know i hung the bulgarian flag on my wall! Missing you!)
And NEXt we have my gurl, EUPH!!! Well well, wat can i say about you??? Smart, Quirky, weird like me, sweet, great listener, Superb writer, Animated translator, wonderful wonderful gal...I le amor u! =) Merci for everything! =) Waiting for yourcard!!!
Man man...too many people to write about so figured i shall stop here and talk alil about each one of them next time... i'm so beat now...Phew! gonna turn iN! =) Until next time! ADIOOSSS!!! =D
(oops b4 i forget, short testimony here! Gods been really sweet to me! the week b4 i left for lausanne i was lamenting about the state of my bank account and thats when my bag snapped! which means....more $$ outflow! BUt praise God 4 providing me a slick leather bag which i love through mAry my love, dancing queen! =) God certainly knows my needs and so, thanks Pops! For all You've done through this ahem...gathering...Learnt much, gettin' ready to face reality and to toughen up my inner man! HAIYA!)

It's been long

2006-06-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been so long since I last blogged...Guess I just can't seem to keep up with it, the whole logging in and writing thing is just not very me heh... I prefer to read blogs and as eeleen said of me, I'm quite a "blog stalker" haha...Funny...

Anyways...Lots had happened...The good, the bad, the ugly...Life is just bursting with flavour ain't it? (Raised eyebrows) Went for saturate conference two weeks ago...All I can say is "Woah..." (Keanu style) It was really really good sitting down at the feet of someone (A whole group of them) who had been through soo soo much in life and fought to the best of their abilities and still managed to stand strong and firm in God yet with hearts so tender...A tender heart is something I really wish to develop...An alert and discerning, wise spirit, broken, contrite and tender heart...Arghs!! MOre than just saying it, I REALLy wanna just do it!! So Lord help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, spent a BOMb on coffee recently...Not a wise move i know, but it's just calming for my body haha!! Spent alotta time with Joy too and I'm glad that our friendship's the way it is now and I hope that it'll go deeper and we'll mature together and GRow! Was kinda chatting with Bro Kek about friendship and like how to go deeper and stuff, and so he asked me...What does it mean by going "deeper"? I don't have an answer for that...But I kinda concluded that it means helping and sharpening each other and develop a trust that in good times, and bad times, I'll be by your side forever morreeee (Oops..singing mode again ahha) yeah...came up with an analogy...Friendship's kinda like a sculpture..A work of art...That's the end product...In the process of sculpturing, there will always be friction and lotsa pressing and hard work, but without all that, the figurine will just be a piece of cold hard stone. Yups...I think it's like that...And OF COurse we need the POtter/sculpturer who has the vision in His mind as to what shape and what finishing it needs. =) haha...For a while there, I felt kinda smart (Wahaha)
Anyways, lotsa work to be done...Update again when I feel like it =)

Stars....

2006-05-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

Wow...Can't believe i havent blogged for soo long. Oh well, i have valid reasons-been sooo many busy that i hardly have time for ANYTHING. Had been so caught up with CD recordings, practices, just lots and lots of stuffs going on right now. Phew! I miss hanging out with friends(Brekos!, movies! Coffee *Hmmm...had lots with joy recently but want more hah) so last night was a good time out with Shih Yang and Eeleen. Was soo last minute, like we didn't even plan anything we just went along with everything! It was a good night of food(cartel) fun(singing at a bridge that faces malaysia with bikerpunks and aimless wanderers till 2am) and fellowship (Needd i say more?) Guys, truly enjoyed myself...Needed some freshness and i got it. :)
However, my heart's still kinda troubled now. It's nothing really, the affair of the heart is well...complicated...But i gotta lift my eyes and fOCUS...on what really matters.-Kingdom thinking and livin'! :P Been spending tons of time with a few people-Joy, Eeleen. Like yeah it's a different experience with each of them-with joy, i feel so LOved! Like she makes me feel like im the only person in the world hahah! Love ya babe! With Eeleen its like she compels me to go deeper in God cuz shes such a testimony! Love ya heaps too babe! :) Yeaps...God help me to be a walking light too! After all, we are called to shine like stars :)

Time

2006-04-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Time...It's a gift from God...It's His patience (and grace) measured... Life is short...Why am i still wasting my time!? I'm really disgusted with the way I waste time...Especially on my off days...An ENTIRE Day of the tube...My off day happens to be on Mondays and man oh man. The selection of shows on Monday is the best!!! I mean..seriously, i can't give "So You Think You Can Dance", "Desperate Housewives" and "Grey's Anatomy" a miss...rigghhtt? Gosh...I freak myself out seeing the way i react to it. I seem almost like an addict in need of a tube fix on Mondays. I revolve my life around it alil too much sometimes and I realise one truth: You become what you feed on. I mean, this is kinda old...But it only struck me like recently...the realisation of how big a problem it can cause is now real and I know that if i don't change my lifestyle, I ain't gonna grow. I'm just gonna remain stagnant which is unthinkable. So I resolve to change my habit! Instead of spending the ENTIRE day on TV (No kiddin', 12 straight hours in front of the box. It's a killer) I'll be selective. Prioritize. Lord..Help me!!!
Yups and that's the ranting of the day. Well on a different note, I found that with age, comes maturity. And new understanding, and "patience". Today is Good Friday, and we had the interactive service in church. It was really good, everything, though rushed out, turned out great in the end. And there was an anointing in the reading and the songs too. So that was really fab. In the past, i bet i would'nt have had the endurance to go through a service like that. I remember how I groaned at the thought of such services, how I complained and grumbled about standing for too long, rolled my eyes at the hymnish songs... But today, I just stood still and really thought of the significance of Good Friday, Christ's love that surpasses understanding and human comprehension. As I stood on stage, listening to Sister Evelyn readin', praying along with the congregation, and singing the songs Rachel Ong had so carefully chosen, I felt "old" for the first time... Not physically old, but I felt that I've matured alil'. No doubt I'm always the crazy dud roaring and jumpin' around, there's another side to me that few know. But You see...You understand...You know me...Completely. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank You Jesus for coming to earth for me, and the rest of the citizens of the universe. Your Love is.... Wow...no words...perhaps the closest will be...beautiful.

Anti-conformity

2006-04-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

I dunno why...but recently, the rebel in me has been scrEAMMMing for attention. I get frustrated easily, mostly at comments and criticism. (That's called pride) I snap at others real quick whenever i feel offended (That's called defensive...and pride again) I get upset easily when nothing seems to have happened like now...(This...is familiar...called Satan's lies...Get off me!) WHY WHY WHY!!???? Today... at work i passed sacarstic remarks just cause someone said something that was so harmless...Arghs!!! The rebel in me is coming out again!!!! And i reject that In Jesus' Name!!!!!

Irks...Been feelin' kinda lonely too... Yucks... Thats a lie!!! Okays... This reformed sinner needs to get herself outta the mudbath and into the jacuzzi tub and let the anger, frustration and the crap in her head bubble away!!!

RU3D?!

2006-04-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

I think it's no coincidence that I blogged abt wat i blogged yesterday. Today's sermon was about the 3rd Day Christian and it kinda coincides with wat i was thinking yesterday. It was about arriving at the state of surrender. Total surrender. No striving, just obeying whatEVER God says and it being not a sacrifice at all. No pain. Dead man knows no fear, and may i add another one- no pain! :) Yeah...I think that's the ultimate stage that all Christians are called to reach! Christians=little Christs. It's time we pick up the baton and run with the FLAME! It's time we hit the highway of holiness (yes, it is possible to lead a holy life. THough so many times we doubt ourselves, but today was reminded again it IS possible!) and as Pastor Cher was sharing about this, God just kinda whispered, " On a highway, you don't stop." and I realized that once we stop, we'll collide cuz there are so many more bros and sistas who are on their way, in the race, and if we stop, we not only injure ourselves (spirituallY) we stumble the rest too and literally cause a jam!! Thus we must all be cautious in all areas of our lives. Yeah...I really loved what Pastor Cher shared about the 3 fold maturity or something like that.

1) Meekness of a Lamb - Total surrender -not downtrodden and weak.
2) Boldness of a Lion (Judah) -Being brave enough to praise Him in tough times.
3) Son Spirit (Climbers versus Crawlers)- intrinsic nature of a Christian..
ought to be that of a climber......... when we face tough situations...(courtesy of Joy :) i forgot!!)

Yeah just thought i'd share about this. :) Very profound i find. Anyways, some "recent" photos. Just realised I haven't posted some for a Loong time. So here they are. :) These were taken last sunday :) I lovE Galfriends! ALOT!!! Becky looked absolutely cute ! haha..FunnY!

2006-04-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have something to confess. I love to read blogs more than blogging. I love to explore the inner depths of people's hearts by reading about their thoughts, their life story through their blogs! (Maybe that's the reason why i enjoy reading tabloids..haha...NAH!) I want to know the person(s) behind the front,beyond the smile, the her/him whom I see ever so often. Yups..Blogs..
*Wakes up from daze* Okays...anyways as i was busily reading away, I realised one common trait in 2 of my friends' blogs. (No offence at all, just a little discoverY) Even mine!!! I found out that they often blog about struggles in life, striving....and then it leads to the "But I know that this is not the way to live..i should blah blah blah blah blah" and all of a sudden it hit me. I thought, we shouldn't be struggling with all these issues all the time and then resolve to change things by changing. Instead, what should take place is that we all are constantly in that spiritual realm, that realisation and alertness that we're God's children and we oughta lead lives that are much much much more fulfilling than our current state. After thinking through briefly, truth started to surface... and I realise hey that's not right. It's only through the struggles with self and life and even with God that we can grow. When i was a teen (no, im not admitting im old, just no longer teeny bopper!) I was a rebel and had to go through tough times cuz of choices I made. Now as i think back, I really thank God for those times and the experiences that I went through because all of that had shaped me to be who I am today. Yeap, so sisters in struggling, take heart that all of the yucky stuff that we are all going through now(yes, i have all of that too) will one day be a topic that we'll laugh about in heaven and a weapon that we will be armed with to fight because we will no longer be intimidated by such trivial matters anymore because we finally see the truth. Sorry i rephrase, we are already armed! Yups. Food for thought food for thought... :D YAwns...sleepy now...

Wowed

2006-04-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight was absolute bliss just kneeling in God's presence...During worship I just had the sudden urge to wanna put my mike down to just kneel in wonder and to my delight, God pulled it off by telling the congregation through pastor Cher to ask all who are not dancers to kneel down and seek Him. I was like "Woah...God You're so sweet!" :) The Fire Meeting was really literally Fiery! A few weeks back I thought I heard God saying "It is coming, it is coming." Then I had the impression it was Fire. After that alotta pointers about Fire came to my mind..Like one of the things is how God's Fire is different from the Satan's fire? God's fire doesn't consume us but Satan's destroys. Just alotta information just rushed through my mind and i quickly jotted them down. ANd tonight at Fire Meeting Pastor Cher mentioned Fire. She asked all of us to hold hands to pray for the Fire of God to consume us. Eeleen was beside me and so we held hands and during the prayer, i felt this tangible heat on the hand that was holding Eeleen's! I wonder...did she feel it too? *winks* But I'm convinced now that the voice i heard a couple weeks ago was God's! :) Send Your Fire, Send the Oil (of anointing-oil makes fire bigger) the Wind (Fan the flame of love higher) and Rain (Raindrops of Fire!)

Stretched

2006-03-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

Another hectic day tomorrow!!! My video is liike only 1/4 done....have gotta finish it up by tomorrow, do CA songs, announcements, tend thirst, liase with PsLeng about the video, and Sister Yang Gek about annoucements, misc stuff that will pop outta nowhere, and CA prac at 2pm, camp comm meeting at 6pm, CD recording at 7.30pm! Wow!!! I'm really really exhausted.. Haven't seen my mum for weeks due to late nights and I miss her alil' bit. Yet on the other hand, i think despite the crazy schedule, i really quite enjoy working till late...I guess I can be a real workaholic sometimes...That's not very good. :P ANyways, did an R & B track with Timo and Dom just now, Tim wrote it and it sounds darn good! We tried as hard as we could to make it sound black and wow, it blew us away ahaha...Thick skin..wahhaa..I dun care, it's a fact! I thank God for this man really, like the ability to sing, I can't imagine my life without a song. That is unbearable. :) Thanks Daddy God! Looking forward to CD recording tomorrow... it'll be a blast. For now, I guess I have to try to do as much as i can for the video....Feel like camping here overnight...Yawn..we'll see. Nights

I'm sooooooo frustrated!!!

2006-03-30T02:38:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhh!!!!!! todays been such a looousssy day!!!!! Endless amendments to make, video deadline tomorrow!!!(which I have not even started oN!) Internet connection failing me again and again and again and now i'm stuck in the office waitin for important documents to be sent out.....Waiting...it's soooo tough.... I'm tired....*collapse*
I wish when I'm tired, someone will be there for me, with me!!!! Why!!?!???? I know God is here, but strangely i feel deprived....of a "person", a "friend" Yucks! This is such a Blah feelin'...Been reading this book called "The Quest", it really speaks such truth about the spiritual battle.... Like how the vultures create cloud of depression and the vomit of the vultures upon defeated Christians are like soo many elements like shame, fear, blah blah blah...I read it with a million thoughts running through my head, my eye was opened to see what really is going on and right now i'm feelin the heat of a battle....But i feel like one of the helpless ones with the swords in their hands yet standing there, just dazed and being carried away by one of the vultures...Of course, i know i gotta fight this feeling!!! We just have to, because it is our destiny...
I wanna crawl outta this situation....Close my heart and ears to those that are not worthy of my attention, my energy and time...and pay closee attention to what You have to say...and simply do what Uve called me to do... Teach me to wield my sword I pray.... I dun wanna be defeated.
but on the bright side, The Lord really used this person to minister to me... (U know who u r) This was what happened on MSN...

Person: "......." (its a secret so i cannot type it out sorry!)
Me: "HUH! *jaw drop...ReallY!???"
Person: "no need God tell me lah, i just want to thats all...."
Me:"thanks again!!!!! I mean Thank GOD for U!!! *muacK* haha"

To cut the long story short...Here's what she said that really got me bawling (almost)

Person: "no worries...love you rach"
and "u deserve it gal"

Talk about grace...and love!!! How many times does a person tell u "i love you" back when you let him/her know? Hardly for me. And this time, I didn't even initiate anything, or do anything to lead the person to say this but she did... I hope Rina and Bro Kek din see the tear tat fell when i read this. :P

To you, I'm really still very very very touched by this and what you r gonna do for me and I really appreciate you sister! Loveeeee ya! ;P

Hey, i think i'm starting to feel alil better already :P

Lonely People

2006-03-28T06:13:00.000-08:00

It's 10.13pm on a Tue night... I'm still in the office, was doing some last minute touch up for Easter and Good Friday handouts plus my Cambodian newsletter. About to leave now, I know it's late but I just need to let it out. Being in the office alone feels different, I feel liberated to just play my LOUD "depressin" music ala Jars of Clay's "Tea and Sympathy", "Lonely People", and like all the songs i love... It was so depressing i teared. I guess it's my tired body screaming "I can't take it anymore!!! I need a rest!!! No more late nights!!! (though it's relatively early) Anyways gotta run bldging closing now. bye

Revival Prayer Meeting-Lives up to its name!!!!!

2006-03-24T04:17:00.000-08:00

Sometime I don't feel human- or at least i don't feel like one. All the striving, self reproach and guilt cuz of thoughtless words said and reckless actions done really gets me down at times. And I wonder, wHY do You still use me as Your vessel? Something that's so imperfect, fragile, ugly, broken...And You're proud to "show me off", let me "shine"...WOW! Im amazed indeed. The past Wednesday we had our weekly revival prayer meeting in church. Strangely, none of the worship leaders could make it that night and somehow the baton got passed to me. I was really reaLLY nervous cuz I haven't led in "main" before but I felt oddly at peace that night. It also was my first time leading with a guitar (and Joy who was sooo fabulous on the keyboards :)) so naturally the jitterbug threatened to bite but nah it didn't get the best of me :P ANd I sensed You telling me that You are gonna break that fear of worship leading in me once and 4 all. You delight in using my inadequacy to let u SHINE! ANd boy shine You did Pops! :) That night, the Spirit moved so intensely and all kinda cool stuff happened..Auntie June sang a prophetic song that sounded somewhat Balinese to me and some others, AUntie Annie felt a strong blast of wind blowing behind her but there was no aircon at that time, Cly saw visions and heard an angel singing, sooo many accounts. Although Joy and I were serving and not in the congregation experiencing all those, I believe that we were still blessed richly and Im so honoured to be Your tool. Really. It's all YOu Lord, Your Glory! :) I'm eXcited to see CP grow and EXPLODE in the months to come! :) Yesterday while making coffee for PCher, she told me that what had happened in revival prayer meeting that night hadn't occured in a looong time since 2002/2000?! Cannot remember whichyear :P For me, I felt that night was reminiscent of the Day of PEntecost with the wind and everything..Wow!! :) I wanna get ready Lord for what's coming up, I don't wanna miss out. To those who have yet to attend Revival Prayer Meeting, I greatly encourage you guys to come! Read the following and I hope that you'll be encouraged and moved to come. God bless you guys!

“The floodgate of heaven is already opened. He will bring upon us waves upon waves of His presence upon us. He is calling men and women of faith to stand and press in. Just like Elijah of old who said that there will be rain but his servant went out to look at the sky and reported that there were no rain. God is a calling men and women of faith to come to press in. And the rain will come.”
A Word of The Lord through Auntie June @ Revival Prayer Meeting

Renewed

2006-03-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

Been busy so hadn't had the time to update. Today's service was good, the whole atmosphere was different and Ps Cher kept emphasizing that today the new has come and forget the former. Wow... During the AGM (Annual General Meeting which went UNUSUALLY smooth-it ended within a cool 1 1/2 hours which was a record!) Ps Cher told us about the Christmas at the City Hall steps plan- Church of Praise will be doing a 1 hour drama depicting the true story of Christmas and it'll be telecast live on the 24th Dec 10pm!!!! I mean, when i heard that I was immediately blown away and humbled by God's AWWesome grace for us! Though I didn't grow up in CP, I feel such a strong connection and a love for the people here. Really. :) I'm so blessed and I'm still pretty amused and amazed at the way God made a BIG round to bring me here. :) He's in control of EVERYTHING-i'm certain :) Recently God's been kinda teaching me to let go of my fears, He wants to break the shackles and the chains and everything that's been holding me and weighing me down and trade it for His burden that's light. Areas that i'd been struggling with for years and years, He showed me that He's in control. Praise God indeed cuz He's BIG enuf to know all things and nothing can go out of His control and things can only happen to us if He allows it. :) Yeap. Cannot wait to see what He's gonna unfold in our church and in my life next. :) I wanna move along with His move.

"We are walking miracles. Signs are for us to see our unbelief. If we truly believe, we don't need to follow signs and wonders. They follow after us!"

"God wants to use the UNUSUAl people to do the UNUSUAL!"
Pastor Sonny Ooi
Lord, help me to be the one who is Set apart and radically different and guide me in the spiritual realm! The 4th dimensioN! Right now, I have to follow my heart and head for bed...zzzz...
Ps: Sorry this entry is like all over the place due to a slowing mind caused by fatigue. :)

Long night...

2006-03-11T06:41:00.000-08:00

It's 1030pm and we r still workin in the office...Burning copies of Pastor Jimmy Mutebi's sermons for sale trw at church. Wows..Lots left...I'm tired. Physically and emotionally..More mentally too...Hadnt had a good rest in days... Groggy :p These past few days had been INCREDIBLE...and trw is supposed to be the fiNAL breakthrough and all, and today as I was singing during worship prac.. I was thinking to myself, man..God has been sooo sooo good to us and trw is the final day...But i'm not ready. I don't feel ready, as in like I havent really had the time to really reflect upon EVERYTHing, my minds a clutter (work) and my heart is not in the right state to go trw and soak! I feel like one of the virgins in the Bible who got caught unaware and that is the last thing that I want... God help me to prepare my lamp so that trw You can pour Your oil upon us, just shower us with it Lord!!! I'm so vexed. I'm not at peace. Haven't gone home to fellowship with my parents for days, weeks, and I feel horrid. Another thing that is really really bothering me is the father issue. Had a heart to heart talk to Joy just now and realised for the first time that she has issues with her dad. Read a sisters blog this noon and she blogged about it too. I mean, I don't exactly have a problem with my dad but it's just bothering me how all these are surfacing at this time. MAybe God indeed wants us to settle all our issues b4 He brings in more of Himself? I'm huNGRy for love... Been feelin alil' wasted, my efforts in loving and giving all given out but I feel empty> I know love is not asking for anything in return but it stings...I know it's not that I'm not loved but some people just love in a diff way, unseen? But it sucks...This afternoon the way I "begged" to be loved with touch (Pats) was embarassing and pathetic...Arghzz... Okay! Enough of this whining already! All the powerful, lifechangin messages I've been hearin, where have they gone to?! No more despising of myself cuz I am to make manifest God's glory and we oughta take hold of our own gloriousness and RUN WITH IT! No more beating myself up, no more battling with my mind! No more! Tomorrow will be an AWESOME day!!!! And besides, there's more thing to rejoice about...The birth of Ethan. :) Congrats FranJoce! :)

Miracle Week!

2006-03-09T20:08:00.000-08:00

This past week has been nothing short of amAZing ...And a Miracle in itself. We invited a pastor (Ps Jimmy Mutebi) originally from Uganda now based in US to minister to us. God just used this man, night after night (we extended the service due to overwhelming response and cuz God wanted it) healing after healing, salvation cases, WOW!!!! There's a little girl who was healed of deafness, a lady whose finger bone was jutting out, now fully restored with pinkish baby skin in place of it! Hallelujah!!! Indeed Sara Grove put it so accurately- The Glory of God is man fully Alive!!! Our Creator's heart is to see all healed, restored, freed and whole! How awesome is that?! The most exciting part for me throughout the week is this- My friend Pearlene who once attended CP came back and was touched by God!!! I was very "Shocked" Not that I'm without faith but it's because I invited 2 friends to the Wed nite service, Wendy (My ex collegue from JobsDB) and Pearlene. During the service, Wendy appeared to be the more enthusiastic one (she's a backslider but doesn't think so) whipping out her notebook an nodding her head in agreement with Pastor Jimmy while Pearlene was seemingly uninterested (or so i thought) smiling weakly at jokes that Pastor Jimmy cracked. BUT in the end, guess who came down to the altar with tears flowing down her cheeks... It was Pearlene... I never wouldve guessed... I was really really quite overwhelmed by His Grace and yeah, I really pray that Pearlene will come back to join us (Due to work commitment, she has barely enough time to join us for Sunday service) and to be a part of the building of His Kingdom!!! As for Wendy, I know she was touched, I could tell that she too longed to return to His embrace...But something is holding her back, but I will continue to pray for her breakthrough and for her heart to be tenderized by Him. All things ARE possible...and I've seen it with my own eyes...Things will never be the same again in church..For those who experienced His healing, for those who witnessed it, even for the sceptics and unbelieving, I hope and pray that they will indeed acknowledge His Lordship and power soon! Yeaps...God has so much more in store... Move in sync with HiM!

Rush Rush...

2006-03-03T23:11:00.000-08:00

ALright i have only 15 mins to think of what to blog now. My, I really am gettin old.. As much as i hate to admit it..shucks... These past few nights of celebration (Chris' lovebomb & Jael's bday surprise) were awesome but so physically draining.. I'd love to celebrate forever and ever but my body fails me haha... Ive been sooo emotionally and mentally drained too...The whole rollercoaster ride that causes me to sink into selfpity and anger and everything is finally over...Chatted with the security guard at OUH (hes the friendly indian chap who always manages to bless me with a smile and a "how r ya?") and we talked about lovin people outta the blue. For a moment i thought he was an angel sent by Godto give me a final warning to get outta thepits until he dwelled upon the subject of allah and how everyone oughta love one another cuz it'd break Allah's heart and all. I tried to add in some God elements to which he shrugged off by sayin it's all the same, we only have one Creator. Sobs. Why is it so hard for them to understand!? Anyways, the chat left me thinking and really pondering about how deep my love for people is. Knee deep i realise. I need to flood people with love! :D All this talk about lovin used to make me cringe, but now as i grow older...I realise as much as we need God, we really do need people too. I think im kinda addicted to this whole love bomb concept... :)

My New discovery :)

2006-02-28T02:28:00.000-08:00

Discovery of the week- Sara Groves....
She's like a cross between Jill Phillips and Nichole (Lyrics are more Nic and Voice more Jill but she has her own unique style) I love her play of words, how she so effortlessly weaves the words to form a story. In the thank you section, her producer thanked her for allowing him to be a part of her season of artistry which I think is so beautiful. And to think I was contemplating whether to get it or not at Mt Zion the day I bought it...Thank God I did cuz I totally needed it that day. Mood swings- sometimes you're up there and high, and other times you're just down on the ground, feelin as low as a lowlife! Sunday was quite a ride for me. The first part of the day Iwas absolutely soakin up the "highlights" and the second part was just horrid...Once again got sucked into the me me me mode and that was totally yucky!!!! Thank God healin came through Sara Groves- her lyrics rather. The heart of it. When i heard the first song, it just totally hit me. The chorus goes like "Love wash over a multitude of things" and almost every track in that album ("Add to The Beauty" spoke to me like never before. It was almost like God's teachin me how to love through it and I'm just so blessed. When I got home and did my QT, God directed me to read 1st Cor and boy was i surprised when I read the part about loving.
"Love is patient, Love is kind.
It is not jealous, ......nor rude...."
As I continued reading, I just felt pretty ashamed of myself because all along I've never really thought what love is really about. I thought by showering my friends with presents and stuff is enough. I never really took the time to think, and that day I was enlightened. I wanna love. God, family and friends with a new passion that is deep inside but I just haven't used. (blows off the dust) Yeaps, it's right here, and I'm gonna learn how to trigger it.
"Loving someone the way they are, that's no small thing."
Sara Grove "Loving someone"

Everything's CHanged!

2006-02-24T04:03:00.000-08:00

I feel like this lady right here *points* Nope, not that I'm feelin all weak in the knees and in desperate need of a man to rescue me of course! I just feel...how do I put it...So full of different emotions right now! ANGRY at SAtan 4 wasting my time and caging me up (I'm free now!) SAD at my own humanity, my tendancy to sway from the right to selfishness. HAPPY cuz I'm outta the pits and am feelin sooo good. Yeaps...Tell me, am I a turning into a schizo? Cuz I certainly feel like one! :) But wat the heck, all I know is I'm no longer under the cloud of depression and now under the shadow of Your Wings... :) I'm just in a thinkin about the whole life thing kinda mode now. Been talkin about life quite a bit with Joy recently. She would pose me questions which I don't normally think about. Stuffs like, " Do you know your directions in life", "Do you have any dreams/ambitions in you that you know is not of God?" etc...Just things that get me thinking beyond my daily routine. What it really means and entails to be a Christian. Read somewhere before that the meanin of the word Christian literally means little Christ! And that's how we oughta be livin', and so much more cuz He did say He has empowered us to do more than He has done when He was on earth! So rise up rise up cuz now's the time indeed! Time to get outta comfort zones, take on new challenges, find old friends to reach out to, just live it out! No more pity parties, sobbing good times and sleeping under stars of empathy! I don't care what's coming my way now, but all I know is that we all gotta cling on tight to our God like a passenger on a bike! The road may be bumpy and the wind that blows against our skin rough, as long as we hold on tight to our very cool God all clad in leather (Jesus in skin!) and wear our helmets (Helmet of salvation), we will surely get to our final destination! We have our Rider with us on this journey and though we don't see His face and only the back, we know that He is there with us (And many other angelic beings on Harleys too! Like some Harley gang haha) So yes, anyways how did I get to this analogy ??!!! Haha must be God lar! :) Yeaps, He rocks man! Okays, anyways before I end off I would like to give thanks to God for saving me from the Pits and to some of my friends who've helped comfort and straighten me out. So applause and kudos to:
1) Clydia- for the wee hours inthe morning talk, for hearing me out and explaining to me about the spiritual warfare that I was fighting, for the hug at Lau Pa Sat, for forgivin me for my thrashy attitude and for being there for me. I loVe ya! :)
2)Shih Yang- for forgivin me for the guitar thang....and for being oh so nice :) haha
3)Eeleen- for understanding me, and for the pat on the head which i shrugged off...:P (so evil..)

Yeaps....Love y'all.... so so so so so so much! Have a great week you guys, going home to cook for trw now. Adios!

SMS to God

2006-02-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

SMS to God: "My mind's blowing up! My brain's been a mess and Im an emotional wreck. God please help me outta this, been thru it too many times and I jst hate this crumbling period. Are You teachin me to let go or something? Or am I simply too possessive of all that I've got just like the past? Past memories flood my mind, the bad ones mostly. God, take my thoughts captive and make them Yours."

Love,
Daughter

2006-02-17T09:04:00.000-08:00

http://kevan.org/johari?view=espresso+rach
Hey guys since this is the latest craze, lemme have a go!

Go ahead and tell me what you really feel about me!!!!>>>

2006-02-17T09:02:00.000-08:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

reflective

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

giving, independent, loving, searching, trustworthy

Façade

(known only to self)

caring, helpful, introverted, observant, sentimental

Unknown

(known to nobody)

able, accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, friendly, happy, idealistic, ingenious, intelligent, kind, knowledgable, logical, mature, modest, nervous, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, warm, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

100% of people think that clyruth is giving
100% of people think that clyruth is independent
100% of people think that clyruth is loving
100% of people agree that clyruth is reflective
100% of people think that clyruth is searching
100% of people think that clyruth is trustworthy

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (0%) giving (100%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (100%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgable (0%) logical (0%) loving (100%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (100%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (100%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (100%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive'>http://kevan.org/johari">Interactive Johari Window on 17.2.2006, using data from 1 respondents.
You can make'>http://kevan.org/johari">make your own Johari Window, or

Beautiful Day

2006-02-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

"It's a beauutiful day!!(ahhhh) don't let it fade away." Bono got it spot on again! Yesterday was a beautiful day indeed, and I almost ruined it by letting my emo get the most of me. Went for Corrinne May's concert at UCC with a whole buncha friends. She was dazzlin' and her latest songs are so awesome... Can't wait for her new album to come out! :) Didn't getta meet her, but took a pic of her back! haha.. I was highly amused when her photog came up to me and said, "Hey aren't you one of the guys who sang for Corrinne the last time she came? So, are you going to do it again later?" I wish.. :) But the queue was horrendous as usual so we got away from the crowd and went to worship under the star-filled sky at a place called the Engine Bridge...Had a fab time, and I just felt so small at that time lookin at the vast sky. And once again, I got lost in His love for me. It's really mind-blowing that such a BIG God loves lil' pathetic, fragile, poor me!
"Amazing love, how can it be? That You my King would die for me!" How true! I've always felt pretty insecure about myself, my past failures, my inadequacy, my appearance, my lack...And I look at others and they seem to have it all. That stings. And it's ironic how my sister's been feelin the same and the other day I was just telling her not to look at others but to Him and yesterday I was hit so hard by the fact that I'm just like her. Fear of being rejected and abandoned, that diSgusting feelin' of being lost and that voice that says even if you die tonight nobody's gonna care... All that just floated up to the surface again yesterday and I nearly drowned in the whirlpool that threatened to consume me. But thanks to You, I found my identity, my security, my reason to live and live strong and to love. The night ended on a sweet note, I talked to a friend about how I felt, revealin' just a fraction of how I felt the whole night cuz I was too tired to really go into it and also cuz I guess I was still kinda apprehensive to express fully all that was in my heart. Anyways, bottom line is, I'm sane now. :) Thank God! I resolve never to let this eat me up again. No more. Finito. Hallelujah.

*sniff* arghz... Am down with flu and a mild fever...Feelin' alil' bleh...I miss starbucks coffee...Miss being healthy (haha), miss my old boss, Canice ( Just called her today like finally!), miss hanging out till late, miss Ikea meatballs...Miss Cly (miss busy now haha) haha Im in a missy elliot mood wahaha..anyways...yes yes..I should stop whining now :) *shOUTS!!!* Okay I'm okay now :D Anyways, I feel pretty good about myself today! Cleaned up my office table today, hence the picture on top! :D Neat now eh? Hee.. I especially love the pics on my lil photo corner cuz it's like walking down memory lane everytime i look at em'. Miss sydney..miss jael...miss being young...woops! There I go again! God, help me be satisfied with what I have heh.. By the way, today is day2 of my GMG with Joy (Good Morning God) and it went pretty well! :) At least we weren't as late as yesterday, just 15 mins :) Read a woman's devotions book, prayed and then proceeded to have our BIG Breakfast (Freshly baked waffles with nutella, cinnamon twist, cereal and FAB coffee bean coffee made with starbucks filter drip *It doesn't get any better than that!*) Yes Lord, tomorrow is our 3rd day and we're gonna persevere no matter how early and hard it is! :D Hope Becky will join us :) *Hints* Heh...Gotta go home to celebrate Mama's Birthday today! She's been around for 48 years now and today I'm gonna be a good gal and go home to have a meal with her. :) God bless my mum's good heart! Yeaps.. Adios peeps.

Ps: Anyone knows how I can add the comment thingy to this? Its no fun without it:)

Good Times... :)

2006-02-07T03:40:00.002-08:00

Just had one of the best times in my life....Doing what u ask? This may sound quite impossible and positively unglamorous, but it's the truth and nothing but the truth. I had a blast eating dinner at the OUH 5th floor carpark by myself. :) It was a good, simple meal, just normal fare.. But just the serenity of being looking over the waters, the skys...feeling the not very gentle wind blowing against my face... and singing to Him :) That felt gud (good in Aussie) )After I gobbled down my dinner, I sat down at the edge of the carpark, legs dangling in midair, I felt the longing to sing to the One who made all these. As I sang, I felt the peace and love and security a daughter feels around her Dad. I thought I heard Him say "I made these for you" I smiled. One of the few precious moments. And many more to come. Made a pact with Joy that we're gonna meet daily at 8am before we start work to do QT tog. My pact with Cly that is to wake up at 7am to do QT daily is gettin futile. Feel in Joy's vocab, "defeated" everytime i fail to do so and that really sucks. So, I know this new thing is so gonna help because in a way, i'm forced to do so and I have someone to do it with me! :) So yes, that's wonderful :) Cly, if you're reading this, it'd be great if you call every morning still because if you wake up at 7, might as well...and also in a strange way, I'm kinda accustomed to hearing your voice every morning now. Haha! in a good way though! :D Yes...Tomorrow is a brand new day! *sings* "Your mercies are new every morning, so let me wake to the dawn....." (lyrics by Nichole Nordeman) How apt! :)

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

2006-02-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

Sunday today! :) Means being in Daddy's house, worshippin corporately, being ahem..uplifted (haha, I paid attention to Pleng!) meeting up with dear friends, lunchin' at Cine and yes...the privilege of having the afternoon all to myself and not having to rush off to work like i used to do. That's one of the perks of workin in office, but of cos it's so much more cuz I'm in His business..But I'm just stating the truth :) Surely He understands what I mean after months and months of whimperin, complainin and grumblin about how I always had to report for work on Sats and Suns and missing out on so many things like serving in CA, and fellaship, meetings and stuffs. So Praise YOu Lord for my stability now :) Anyways, today chilled out at CrossTalk cafe at Suntec with Cly. Nice Christian cafe, good food, lovely service, cheap coffee, great posters and lighting. Too bad ain't got any music, I think that's so important, like music just makes the place u know wat i mean? Without it, the place feels empty, thus I whipped out my ipod cause I simply couldn't take the silence!! :D Music..God's gift to mankind. Suddenly have the urge to write songs!Write songs that lifts people up, that lifts up HIS name and songs to touch people! I'm amazed at how a melody and the right words inspired by the Holy Spirit can fit together to form an anthem of praise that has the power to impact lives..And I wanna do that.. Not for my own glory (yucks) but really to sing out His words to encourage and to be able to sing out the songs of my heart to Him. And i wanna add guitar playing to my extravaluable happy song meal please! :) Piano too! Ooh violin too! Sax too! Arghz...God help me not be too divided!! I always feel like a Jack of all trades Master of None?! Sighs...One at a time Rach...*roll eyeballs* Tomorrow is my off day so i'm gonna make full use of it, hope a song will be conceived by then..Heh but i know it doesnt happen this way :) In His time :)

By the way, I have a funny story to share (Upon Cly's request :) The other day I was at 7/11 just hanging around, no biggie. Suddenly a lil' brown packet caught my attention....I walked closer , my heart thumpin like a bongo..Sweaty palms...Dry lips....I picked it up.... It looked soooo ooh..delish! Chocolate shake in a packet! It looks like any other meal replacement product and the packaging was so attractive...I looked at the price...*gasps* My jaw dropped! $1.65!!!! Without hesitation, I grabbed it and headed for the cashier, trying hard to avoid eye contact in case he noticed my nervousness...I hurried out and carelessly dumped it in my bag and had clean forgotten about the whole thing... Until today.

Cly and i were talkin'...and i casually whipped out my secret stash of goodness and showed it to her sheepishly (Cuz its like a diet thang and I always appear nonchalant about that crap :P) and that's when it happened! Cly burst into laughter and asked me to look behind at a tiny section. Read the following and weep. (or laugh)

Note: Complan should only be given to infants 12 months and under medical or dietic supervision. Complan is NOT intended as a total diet replacement.
In addition, Clydia noted that total fat content is 14.4gm. I want to Compla(i)n!

Breakthru' Prayer

2006-02-04T06:03:00.001-08:00

Hellos. Just came back from SNL-Saturday Nite Live for the clueless :) It was a good service, short and sweet sermon by our dear broFrancis. Was about prayer and before the sermon, Shih Yang screened a very inspiring vdo about how prayer changed a notorious town. Or rather, the impact of prayer! It was really awesome seeing how such a land and people got changed so radically by God thru prayer. While watching the vdo I was thinkin to myself.."We have the power of prayer in our hands and all we gotta do is just grab it and use it!!!! Revival in our land is soooo possible!!!" And even now as I'm typin this, a song conviniently floats into my head now..A very acoustic tune with raw lyrics, "Let This Nation Be Changed" from the "All Around The World" album featuring Brit's 4 "lions" - Matt Redman, Tim Hughes, Paul Oakley and errr...forgot lar...ya anyways...It goes like "Can a nation be changed? Can a nation be saved? Can a nation be turned back to u?" Now i believe it can cuz HE CAN! :D As i was listening to the sermon today, I felt kinda pricked. Guilty cuz I haven't been praying for my friends... I realised that my prayer life is very self-centered...and monotonous...I want to pray BOLD prayers, something outta my league that only God can do! :D Salvation for my friends and radical prayers like gimme a soul or i will diee!!!!!! Yes! :D 2006 breakthru year for CP, and for me! :) By the way, I simply love singing and serving with Eeleen. (yes eeleen, i wanna proclaim it to the world that i LOOOvvvee you! haha)She's just a born leader and so cool when it comes to handling people. You rock lar babe! Really :) Singing "God of Wonders" was so fitting too. He's so WONDERful no WONDER we stand in WONDER!!!! :D I WONDER why...haha...Pun intended! :D Took a walk back home tonight. As i glanced up to the sky, I really just marvelled at Him..He's so BIG, He's the Master Creator, yet He loves you and me.. Reminds me of a Nichole Nordemen song..."Is it any wonder......"

I've shed my.....

2006-02-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

I've finally shed my old skin!!!!! (Shame on those who thought I've shed some weight!) WOOO!!!! BUT deleted my old blog...well..never mind since I only had 4 posts..And thank God for funky sis jael who popped by yest! Gave me a short crash course on how to post pics on my blog! woohoo....Now it's gonna be so much more fun bloggin'! :) I'm happy today! Made up with my sista and I feel so liberated! Thank You Lord....For friends who've helped one way or another esp Lamb, Cly & Joy! :) Your patience and prayers are very much appreciated! Can't wait for our Blue night out! Bought clothes esp for that...and I'm proud to say that my new top has a hint of feminity! :D haha and it's free sizethat means I'll still be able to wear it after i shed some weight :) haa...anyways...yeah here are some old pics from Christmas Party and random places and events...Enjoy! Gotta go open Thirst now!

Pieces of Me

Radical Rach?

Radical Rach?

In The Waiting

Techno Moron =(

Pictures

Reminisce

Oops

Reality of life

BACK FROM HEAVEN

It's been long

Stars....

Time

Anti-conformity

RU3D?!

Wowed

Stretched

I'm sooooooo frustrated!!!

Lonely People

Revival Prayer Meeting-Lives up to its name!!!!!

Renewed

Long night...

Miracle Week!

Rush Rush...

My New discovery :)

Everything's CHanged!

SMS to God

Arena

Blind Spot

Façade

Unknown

Dominant Traits

All Percentages

Beautiful Day

*Sniff*

Good Times... :)

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Breakthru' Prayer

I've shed my.....

Sniff